Its not even really abt my body that much anymore so why am I freakin out abt a skirt not fitting?
I want to purge till I cant fuckin move..
I want to let what seemed like such a beautiful dream to me go. (recovering)
I want to just... Go back. Just... Let go of everything.
I have been separating myself from everyone. My girlfriend even. You all know how much I love her to peaces, I don't even want to be around her a lot anymore. I'm drawing THAT far away...
Everything is just CRUSHING disappoint in my world right now it seems.
I really need some professional help.
I've had so many suicidal thoughts its unbelievable. Literally, I can just look at something and instantly in my head is 5 ways to kill myself. I can look at a paper bag and think of 4 right now. Lmfao....
So I'm logging off. this may be the only post i've left up in.. 4/5 days? (but i'll probably come back and delete it in a hour..) see.. I'm even drawing away from u guys.
Ganna lay on my bed naked and open up the windows in my room so i'll be cold as fuck.
BTW, I wouldn't kill myself. I've put to much effort into living, and that would really hurt my Girlfriend..
♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteDon't give up on your dream. It may seem like it's so far away, and it does take a while to get there. There will be set backs, like such, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it.
I hope you can get professional help, though even then, half of them hare ass wipes. But I do hope you can talk to a Dr and see if they can help you.
xoxo
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Hi there, I've never read your blog before, but I wanted to stop and let you know I'm listening, too. Don't give up. I know it is so, so hard. But you're so brave for even getting to this point, for addressing your problems and fears and facing them. You CAN do this. Hold tight to your girlfriend and those who believe in you -- even people you don't know, but still care about you, like me. I'll be following your blog now. Please don't give up. You're strong enough to have made it this far..... you're strong enough to get through it to the other side! <3
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